||[31 Mar 2007|12:08am]
wake me from this cruel dream
i cant believe my mind
all this twisted information
cant be the truth
wish i was blind
and couldnt care if i missed
a single tear from all this
you lies were oh so rich
now we're all choking on the bullshit
you fed us from your dirty hands
as we go for a ride
when my heart starts beating
ill light my cigarette
swallow my regret and put on my smile
i wont pretend that im alrite
my words fall just short of your grasp
and your words fall down like dust on the dash
filling the silence with a curse
left on the side of every curve
in those old roads we all know
familiar spots now grass overgrown
memories trapped in graveyard stones
im still searching for the road home
where all my dreams are free to roam
all troubles laid by the rivers bed
i found you there is where you said
your sweet sorrys of how its done
i found my troubles just begun
swirling waters black and deep
keep secrets of the ones who sleep
through all the days and through the nights
lie waking in the absence of light
cool splash upon my face
im not dreaming what is this place
the nightmare of reality
i once thought fake now i cant take
this pressure weighing down on me
i need escape
trade my burning thoughts
for a cool emptiness
what was that you said
my hope is dead
it waits for me with broken wings
and silently with me it sings
the songs of the dead
||[31 Jan 2007|12:23am]
will you walk with me for a while
we can swap stories and exchange smiles
your hand feels fine wrapped in mine
with our palms perfectly aligned
lets lay down our troubles and fears of all kinds
and openly share a bit of our minds
would you care to open door number one
with surprise find what you've already begun
laughter abounds under the shining sun
we can kick up our heels and have some fun
will you stand with me on the edge of the world
while the universe around us unheeded swirls
this unreal scene keeps switching on me
you got me so blind with closed eyes i see
what all the fuss is all about
once your in you never want to be without
lets find out whats behind door number two
strange being somewhere completely new
in a room with a wider view
was i the only one who never knew?
will you show me the world thru your eyes
where the blissful dance and the demons lie
tell me what brings the sea to the sky
which notes played soft make the angels cry
wont you let me see past your disguise
your true self shines while the hopeless sigh
wont you open up door number three
we have the keys to set us free
when the universe opens up to thee
immerse your soul in its mystery
will you jump with me now take my hand
into the mystery while the clock still stands
stubbornly telling us that time wont wait
theres consequences if you hesitate
to do what lies in your heart
fear can break you before you start
whats behind door number four
something different than before
who knows what the world has in store
we could be flying high or found on the floor
|Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
||[09 Jan 2007|11:50am]
Trippin sisters laughing down the time
this is not some attempt to escape from our minds
so if you please don't close your eyes
the world will fly by in the space of a sigh
the mark is set are you ready to go
the energies pull us into the flow
i can feel that poison flowing thru my veins
and this old world will never be the same
these moments are ours in the quiet of dawn
while the world still sleeps we stretch out and yawn
no sandman knocking on my door
no sweet dreams or nightmares in store
i only want to rest my bones for a while
hearing the steady drumming of your heartbeat makes me smile
so wrap me up you know i'm feeling safe here in your arms
and theres something shining in your eyes thats setting off all my alarms
now I'm here to reminisce
about all the things we just couldn't miss
the sweet sad sound of the ending
theres no cost to the time we were spending
no explanation nor clarification for our maniacal hysterics
you already know whats on my mind before i even said it
i know now that time can be dismissed
it didn't matter enough to be missed
the seconds and minutes and hours tiptoed by
we took no notice of them as we contemplated how to fly
and the silence cant be awkward if its overflowing with sound
i know you are just like me as we touch our feet back on the ground
i feel i've died ten thousand times and then been born into this skin
i know i've seen your eyes before with that loving soul shining from within
now all the world is back in its place but i cant seem to find my own
so take my hand we'll wander here until we find a place to call our home
||[09 Sep 2006|03:50am]
i found out today
you left here last week.
with a dream in your veins
and hope in your eyes.
you said you're looking for
a new sky to lay under
and a new kind of breeze
to comb through your hair.
i always knew this small island couldn't hold you.
and i always knew you would be something more.
something more than these incessant suburbs.
something more than turnpikes and parking lots.
something more than here.
feels like months ago.
"i'm going to california".
leaving in the fall, which seemed so far away.
but time doesn't wait for you to adjust.
i never saw you for one more look.
you never said goodbye.
what was i thinking
when i said this would fade.
i was hoping by now
i'd be over you.
||[26 Feb 2006|09:59pm]
The wind is in a crazy rush//no mind can see its total power//loosening inside his brain//He walks to the end of the roof//insanity eats away at him//he turns in crazy movements// he must get out of here//so he jumps//
he stands firmly on the ground//completely there//all at once//he’s finally there//safe and sound//no one can touch him//well he takes not for granted but; //no one can touch him//he knows his general state of his life is confusing//so he walks//confused but at a hush//so he walks//starts walking faster, for fear of the cold//why is he afraid of the cold//afraid?//why would he be afraid//he’s only walking//walking?//why’s he walking? where his he walking?// scolds the skin warn out by the wind with in this tin can//tin in the air is to sharp//why is it so sharp?//go back//stumble//don’t stop//go back//thrash at the wind but go back//run//stumbles a tree stump//
the tree stump in the field startled him//the tree stump in the field tripped him//he’s stupid why was he running?//well cause he tripped over the tree stump..//no he trip because he was running//and he was startled because he was running….//startled?//stop.//
why is there a tree stump In the field//
I’m scared for this thing//there’s no trees around//why would I be scared if there where no trees around//long grass//why would I be scared//winds blowing to hard//I would be scared if the trees were gone because I couldn’t breath//the wind is blowing to much air//the trees are leaving//I cant breath//so much wind//going inside my lungs//run//I can’t breath//sculls crumble in//
I am fine//just a little tired from my walk//I’ve been walking quite far my legs are tired// I should probably rest//I’ll sit on this tree stump//up by the apple tree//I’ll pick an apple like Johnny apple seed//Johnny apple seed?//is that his name?//must be//well why would I be him//I don’t think I want to be him//why would I have to be him?// run?//no I’ll stay on this stump//no I’ve tripped before//I must get up//wait they don’t like me//run//everything stop//
|hi im kim from seattle!!!
||[25 Feb 2006|01:26pm]
marble eyes and trade mark tongue
the memory of your death forever young
lucky charm cheeks daisy lips
sinful character from a wine glass she sips
your taste is tangy and alive
i lost my way in the end do i survive?
chainsmoking lungs fragile and frail
you own my love and my emotions are for sale
fairytale lovers bathing in booze
is it my soul from me you choose?
lightening is my lantern show me the way
i erase your face and mold it in clay
wishful and belated
wired and sedated
round belly and intense face
your soul is a ribbon and your heart is draped in lace
asylum of morphing gods
will i excape...what are the odds?
dilated pupils and bloodshot tear stains
broken sentences in my sleep did you hear about the morbid reigns?
candy coated kisses
serpent flavored hisses
life dies,life bleeds
i demand your scent what are your needs?
||[11 Jan 2006|12:46am]
ill bring the wine you like.
you bring that billie holiday record i love.
i'll wear those shoes
that always made me feel pretty.
you wear that shirt
that always made me want to hold you.
we can be happy.
if only for a night.
let the wine glass dangle in your hand
while we sway and fall into the moment.
smirking into your shoulder
i can't help but blush.
you whisper the lyrics in my ear.
we can be euphoric
if only for a little while.
you tell me i'm beautiful.
melting me down to a puddle of rapture.
forget the wine.
forget the song.
kick off the shoes
throw away the shirt.
eyes on eyes.
hands in hands.
we can be flying high
if only for tonight.
||[30 Dec 2005|01:57pm]
Wonder where it all began
feeling the alcohol and the tears swell
shivering in the corner and obscenities fly inside
pan the room for anyone to kiss
glare at the lovebirds as they couple off in smiles
take another swig realizing the situation.
make way to the door and into the cold.
suddenly notice the stream of mascara down the face.
close the eyes wish it all away.
||[03 Dec 2005|02:33am]
perhaps you were right
when you told me i've lost potential.
and maybe you had a point
when you pointed out that i run in jealous circles
and you always seemed to spread subtleties
that whispered the realities of you and me.
but still i can't seem to relinquish you.
i'm stuck in a slow motion train wreck
just waiting to derail any day now
and i'm frozen in black and white
just floating in a pool of dormancy
and drifting along in a sea of inertia
and i've never felt so alone.
trudging on in a fit of melancholia
and wincing from the bite of the bitter december wind,
slowing down isn't an option
for fear of suddenly crumbling.
and december always seemed so raw.
with naked trees
and blue winds.
with overcoats and hiding under layers
frozen sidewalks that never seemed so lonely
and shivering carseats that never take us far enough
december always turns out being so cold.
i don't want it ending like this
with voicemails and unanswered calls.
i don't want you walking away tonight
with my heart screaming and your eyes blinded
i don't want this aching all over my body
with my bones swollen and my guts throbbing
i don't want it playing on the stereo anymore-
scratched up and skipping
i don't want my mind forgetting you.
but i can't have my heart holding on.
in the end of another year
and still the same damn place.
|the roar of winter and a pang of loneliness
||[23 Nov 2005|12:56am]
the days are shorter
the nights are colder
the hours seem lonelier
but your eyes are still the same.
the same blue i fell in love with years ago.
you're a liar
and you can't keep a promise.
and i hate a person who breaks hearts
the way you always manage to.
but even when i envision a vicious farewell
and even when i try to block out your name
something brings me back
something always takes me back to you.
my hands are permanently attatched.
i just cannot let go.
suddenly every song is about you
and every storyline is my life.
and every swell in the air
is every ache in my heart.
i shed a tear for every cancelled plan
and i rant and rave
and know exactly what i will say
next time i have a chance to tell you off
but then you answer with a hey there
and it all dissolves
every angry word
every hateful thought
all the awful tears
and swollen heartbeats
every single rejected emotion
slithers away at the sound of hello
once again forgiveness is bestowed
and yet again i am alone.
you're not as special as you seem
i'm not as strong as i thought.
||[29 Aug 2005|01:56am]
tick tock goes the old clock// as the moon takes a yawn// for its almost dawn// and the sadows slowly creep up// wake up// early to see the moon take a bow//the sun is up for now//and my hopes are up for now//wonder today away// wonder for clarity //wonder for certainty//wonder for her to see//me//wait for laughter to subside//what for them to go inside//open up our mind//i love this time//read//i see//should i trust me//well your beauty around my neck tonight//teaches me something// makes me feel alright//will words tomarrow bring back sarrow of yesterday// or will our lips part again//to start something new.
||[27 Aug 2005|04:03am]
summer's on its last leg
the days are shorter
and the nights are darker
and nothing feels the same
summer's almost over
this has been the longest one i've seen
soon it'll turn cold
and i wont see you again
from the leaves
to the faces
to the color of these eyes
and as far as i know
you never used to be this way
last day of summer
and i dont feel the same
everyone keeps changing
they've all moved away
and from here on out
nothing will feel
the way it did
when summer first rolled in.
||[17 Jul 2005|12:29pm]
||[18 Jul 2005|12:48am]
If Only the tears are to tell the truth, I believe
One drop for tomorrow, yet another one for her
As if they wash away my regret in life
My voice is too weak to tell the truth
So i gimmic the sounds, here another truth in there
The meaning of life in a sense
I spent years and years to find out what it is
Now I'm laying down here to sing an another tune for U
The darkness swallows all of my hope and happiness
I cant stop it.....it stops my heaven, oasis...
If only the tears are to tell the truth, tell me
About the days I was in dark when I was a child
I still carry this broken heart with me
Till the days it tells me about its feelings to me
||[13 Jul 2005|03:28am]
it's funny how, in an hour,
you're heart can crumble
and in a matter of minutes
this new pain is embedded in between your lungs
and in a second
it hits you
that you've loved him
this whole time
i miss so many people
all at once
and i havent heard from you in weeks
im in this pain thats new
and all i want to do today
is see you
are peaceful and nostalgic
with dew and golden rays
crisp air and a silence
to fall asleep to
i feel so far from everything
that i thought was me
im drenched in fear
but im no coward
i reek of heartache
but im not one to say so
calling you does nothing
because you never pick up the phone
and i miss you more with every day
but i havent seen you in a month
and this pain is suddenly too much to take
i thought the time away
would help me move on
but all i do
is miss you more
this insanity is making me bleed
and this restlessness
is making me nervous
and the days are noticeably longer
but the nights are what kill me
because they never end
and all i do
is sit up and sip caffeine
about what you fill your afternoons with
and if you ever wonder where i am at night
and about what youre doing
when youre on the road
and if the mix i made you
is helping you through
i think about how much i miss you
and whether or not i want to see you again
||[19 Jun 2005|10:51pm]
Every moments I see, Seventen
As vast as the ocean and swallows everything
You can be as you are
Everything has to be true as much as can be
Too young at 16, Too old at 25, Seventeen
Noises can be heard the best within me
Strong and Vividly and I embrace them
Hold my sugar till it melts into your heart
Feelings and memories turn to be
the golden roses, and i feel them in nostalgic
Sadness never stop, but instinctly it makes you more pleasant
You go so dark, but it gets brighter than anything else in the world
Im falling down....
Broken heart inside mine
Whispering your soul to me
Cant control my impulse
it bruises like a hurricane......
Smile, scream and cry as natural as can be
I can listen to your pure heart whispering me gently, my seventeen
The moments I can never go back to
The feelings I can never get back
Disappointed and disillusioned by deceitful
You're running away from the reality, Seventeen
Fly as my golden forever, Seventeen
||[15 Jun 2005|12:46am]
i need a new habit
one to keep me calm
something to keep my blurry head focused
i need something new
to straighten all these crooked lines
sitting in the nightly june heat
and wishing on which ever star
is clear enough to see
softly singing along with the radio
and suddenly realizing
that i never did get over you
and so now in the middle of the twilight
i am buckling from the heat
and suddenly faltering from the love
that has creeped up upon me
and all the while,
the summer breeze so sweetly sings to me
so lets dance in the moonlight
and sing in the sunshine
ill say im sorry for obsession
if you let me lay with you under the blue
because i realize
ive been a child with a crush
and i finally see you
in all your beautiful ways
after so many years
after all the pain
the laughter and the smiles
after all the secrets told
and promises kept
and after all this madness and euphoria
i stand next to you
and feel safe
for the first time in years
this feels right
||[10 Jun 2005|11:14pm]
seeing them get so close
watching them tease each other
and knowing they are in love
and not knowing what it must feel like
the rain plays its symphony in the parking lot
and ive never felt this alone
sitting on the curb under the blue drops
i have a confession to make
i think i may have loved you
but i dont think ill ever really know
the smell of summer
always made me think of you
with the sky an emotional color
and the air spiked with freedom
yes, the beauty of summer
always reminded me of you
nights with the air a nice shade of warmth
june stars and the smell of rasberry
coming from the coffee shop
distract me for a couple hours
as we swallow our secrets whole
i told you once
that i never saw myself as beautiful
and for the first time
you had nothing to say